she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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