Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
