I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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