I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
