Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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