she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
