i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
