I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
