Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
