Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
