gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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