question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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