You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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