Dude my mom stole all your condoms
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize