Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
