brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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