dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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