What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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