How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
