idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
