I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
