So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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