Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
