you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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