It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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