im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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