I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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