how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
