don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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