He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize