dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
