I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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