Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
