Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
