There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
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this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
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Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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