Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
