That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
