We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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