the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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