That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
