You're my little dorito
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I don't deserve a penis
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
