Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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