dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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