guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
