I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
