She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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