STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You're like the curious george of whores
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
be right there i have to get my cape
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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