Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
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should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
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Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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