The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
