I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
