Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
last night I used snow as a chaser
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