i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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