I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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