Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
