So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
