and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
